“Spirituality is, ultimately, about what we do with … desire. What we do with our longings, both in terms of handling the pain and the hope they bring us, is our spirituality. … Spirituality is not something on the fringes, an option for those with a particular bent. … We do not wake up in this world calm and serene, having the luxury of choosing to act or not act. We wake up crying, on fire with desire, with madness. What we do with that madness is our spirituality.”
Ronald Rolheiser, in his book “Seeking Spirituality”
Spirituality does not always map on to religion or religious practice. For many religious people, the link between their religion and their spirituality is so direct that “spiritual not religious” sounds incongruous to them (or even impossible). For others, including many Catholic and Buddhist writers, the concept of spirituality being hardwired in the human person is congruent (or even obvious). For me, the more years I accompany people one-to-one, the clearer I hear the yearning to integrate all the parts of ourselves, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual, in order to understand how to live life, and to what end. In the past, I guess most people started their search towards fulfilling that desire through the religion they were born into. Now, in my experience, most people start with the fire, the desire, and arrive at the search from the other end.
However, I also don’t believe that spirituality is a form of self-soothing. ‘What I do with the fire inside me’ often includes rage, uncomfortable eureka moments, long-term searching and a spotlight shining on what is unresolved in my past and my relationships (including my relationship with myself). Spirituality is often presented as self-soothing or self-fixing in popular literature (‘Healing in 3 easy steps!’ ’10 steps to an amazing life transformation!’) and in individuals (‘I should be more Zen!’ / ‘If I just stuck with mindfulness I would be sorted’).
Spirituality doesn’t “sort you”. It IS you.
The full programme in Spiritual Accompaniment (2011, Loyola Hall, UK)
Supervision of Spiritual Directors (2017, St Beuno’s, UK)
Practicum in accompanying the 30-day Ignatian Spiritual Exercises (2018, St Beuno’s, UK)
Guiding on 40+ silent retreats (every year since 2011, mainly face to face but increasingly online since COVID). These have been at Loyola Hall, St Beuno’s, St Cuthmanns, several universities in the UK, 2 locations in China, and online.
Guest Retreat Director on the teams at St Beuno’s Wales and Community of the Resurrection Mirfield, UK (ongoing)
Individual private online retreats and ongoing accompaniment on request.
Going on retreats myself. 8-day silent retreats have been an important part of my life since 2002. I also made the 30-day retreat in October 2008, at St Beuno’s.
Training Retreat Guides on formal training programmes since 2015, in the UK and in China.
10-day Spiritual Exercises in Stages, St Beuno’s June 2025
6-day silent retreat at the Community of the Resurrection Mirfield, August 2025
Private retreats on request (online)
Ongoing spiritual accompaniment on request
If you want to get in touch, you can find me on linkedin, or send me an email.